Mexico, until a week ago, was our definite PLAN for what we are doing after we have to leave our apartment in December. I am graduating and my husband is looking at a PhD. program in Monterrey. (Because when you can’t find a job, you go back to school. It’s a universal rule).
Now, we have the Swine flu or influenza porcina. When you add this to headlines about increasing drug cartel/gang violence, it is not looking good for us. I have said “welllll, Mexico is still way way cheaper than the US right? And maybe the media is being melodramatic…”
But we are now focusing on Florida. Which may or may not mean that if I end up unemployed, that I will a) go back to get another graduate degree myself and that b)I will work in whatever job I can get. And we will figure out babies as we go.
Okay, not really but maybe kind of. Yesterday we went to get hamburgers. $1.19 double cheeseburgers (or did it go up to $1.29? Anyway…) We were guided into our spot and told that they were filming a commercial (hence the ginormous lights over the parking lot). And so we came upon 3 fancy tricked out cars and a bunch of teenagers in bright clothes, and their parents. We didn’t see an actual commercial, but the McDonalds had balloons up and a clean floor/soda fountain area and the staff was extra happy, which I appreciated.
It made me think of two things (besides the obvious “oh this is so going in my blog!”):
1)there were cables for the lights, etc. RIGHT under the soda area and my husband and I both were thinking “man, what would happen if one of us spilled a massive amount of liquid over these cables!?” (answer: mild sparks and looking like massive jerks)
2) I was trying to think: what, possibly would be so important that McDonald’s is making a commercial? And I remembered that McDonald’s is trying to sell a new $4 Angus burger because they are apparently one of the few companies that is actually doing well. I’m not sure how street racing cars and teenagers in neon green and purple translates to angus burgers so maybe this isn’t why. But I’m keeping my eyes peeled for this commercial now
And the best part: as we were leaving, one of the employees gave us 2 free coupons for being guests/stepping over their cords. Yes, we have 2 free coupons for a Big Mac/Quarter Pounder/Nuggets/ Regular burgers Woo!
We have this friend. He is Obama’s biggest fan, without a doubt. Whenever I lament about my husband’s lack of a job or our lack of health care, he always gives me an Obama quote (at my insistence he has been diversifying… to Dr. King quotes).
He is himself unemployed BUT he is also staying with his very supportive parents, who are giving him food and free rent and health care. So I am jealous. And as I hint at in my post back to him, I feel like loving Obama is just not enough anymore. He’s only one guy and my husband needs a job NOW. I’m giving our president and this administration some time but if things don’t get better, I’d like to post this bushama graphic just to see what my more privileged friend thinks.
In retrospect, by the way, I realize that I myself do not know what it means to live in the segregated south or as a socially marginalized person. I may be on the economic fringe, but we have a lot of good things going our way. I guess I am just tired of hearing about how I can now have hope because Obama is president.
If this works, I’ve picked gambling chips because the “saving-up” tickers were just insulting and I couldn’t think of any other graphic that explains “the economy and job market is sucking us dry”. I picked a baby because of the last post. And because it was either a baby or a turkey.
My husband, BTW, left a place that rhymes with “Smank of Shemerica” to pursue his MBA because he thought an MBA could get him a higher paying job. They wouldn’t give him the time off that he needed to finish his degree and we decided that he should choose school. I don’t regret it, they weren’t that great…. but oh, I miss the health benefits (which weren’t that great either, really, but so much better than nothing).
We have baby fever. I’m naming it and claiming it and simultaneously realizing that this economically makes no sense.
Pros:
Babies are blessings from God.
Babies, according to my husband’s cultural background, are often the impetus to new beginnings. It’s like a reward- new baby equals shift in the existential and cosmic plans God has for the happy couple. If we had a baby, God would give my husband a job and give us happiness and prosperity.
Life will always be complicated and expensive. We cannot wait for our economy.
Cons:
Having a baby sans health insurance is crazy. Plus, we’ve been to public (free) hospitals in California. They are dehumanizing and I don’t want to have my baby in poverty.
Having a baby sans health insurance and a stable job puts us back into the white trash stereotype that I’ve fought for years to shed. We live in an upper-middle class community but we are not upper-middle class. This is a purely cosmetic and not humble fear: I grew up poor. I hated it. I want our children to have the best. And that means I want to be a consumer.
Everyone in our pretty upper-middle class (Christian!) community would look at us as irresponsible! We are responsible for our fertility and family planning.
How did this come up? I suddenly have no more prescription benefits, so I am suddenly no longer taking the pill. I personally welcome the break- the pill isn’t expensive (you can buy it from Target/Walmart for $5). The pill basically doesn’t help my hormones or my body, and it is one less pill to take at night. I like the idea of charting my body cycle and of “just trusting God”. It’s a romantic idea.
So today I got a 3 month supply from my University clinic. Which is great. We have the pill covering us for three more months. A few more days of pill free life- these are the dangerous days. I’m pretty sure I’m not ovulating, which is good. But I’m not charting so I don’t know. My husband is taking his “forgetfulness to buy condoms” as a sign from God that we should throw caution to the wind.
I want to have a baby. But I don’t want to have a baby while we have absolutely no clue where we are going economically. I do trust God. But I also know that I want to have a worry free pregnancy- I need health insurance. And I want our first child to have the best of everything. I’m worried about my white-trash background but my husband’s sister isn’t the model of economic stability in her own background (she married Mormon).
Babies are blessings and signs of renewal. And if something happened, I would call it a sacred miracle. And if it doesn’t, I am all the more thankful.
I wonder how many women are living in my situation, secretly on the brink of poverty and yet trying to also show that they are still members of the white upper-middle class community that we’ve fought so hard to be members of?
"a pata pelada"- Chilean slang for barefoot. No meaning or parallel whatsoever to my husband's lack of job or to the economic depression, totally just something I like saying.... (oh the irony if I end up barefoot and pregnant...)
"Still figuring this one out"- because I couldn't figure out a good/clever/snarky title for "crap, we don't have health insurance or a steady job and I feel endless self-pity and horrible everytime my husband comes back from a job fair with nothing but free company pens from enterprise rent-a-car..."
